luka's blog

4 1 24 Sanity with half the talent would take it twice as far 3 11 24 It's kind of absurd how easy things are when I don't invent my own obstacles. Sadly I seem to enjoy the activity of doing so 3 4 24 There is nothing stupider than abiding by an idiosyncratic set of values. You're just making things harder for yourself without reason. Values can only exist as being held communally Been playing a lot of league soloq Diamond players are way worse than I thought.. Was way too focused on mechanics/micro, macro plays are so much easier and so much free LP I guess mechanics will need to be leveraged more whenever I stop being able to farm elo from fights with basic numbers advantages, collapsing on splitpushers, pushing waves and taking objectives after fights, crossmap objective with pressure from splitter, etc.. 2 26 24 I've understated the influence that prior recognition with a pattern has. To get somewhere further we have to have flattened some patterns to shorthand so a larger compound concept may be understood. Thus it's the facility for flattening patterns that allows us to understand more..? I guess that's just pattern recognition. The more something can be relegated to an existing "line" that already has an appropriate response primed the more mental space is available for other considerations. * "Knowledge checks are the politically correct way to describe gimmicks" -Leffen 2 19 24 Talent shouldn't be equated to self-esteem. The thing is cleverness/intelligence will always be a point of pride because of the pragmatic navigations that everyone has to do on a day-to-day basis.. Particularly in workplaces that sort of thing is crucial. However assuming we get to a point where technology has automated away every last practical consideration then it will hold less value.. 1 17 24 "It seems, then, that nature has pointed out a mixed kind of life as most suitable to the human race... Indulge your passion for science, says she, but let your science be human and such as may have a direct reference to action and society. Abstruse thought and profound researches I prohibit and will severely punish by the pensive melancholy which they introduce, by the endless uncertainty in which they involve you, and by the cold reception your pretended discoveries shall meet with when communicated." 1 14 24 The quality of reasoning matters more than the conclusion * I seriously despise taking in new raw information. It bothered me to the point that I used flashcards to memorize all the tft item recipes so I wouldn't have to keep looking up what made what. Yes, you learn it naturally by playing but playing when you don't have a clue about anything is already excruciating. I couldn't make a decision about anything because I didn't have the first clue about anything. So alleviating some of the raw information I needed to know makes playing that much more bearable. I want to make a distinction between a "skill gap" and a "knowledge gap". The former is fine, that's the point of trying to improve in the first place. The latter is just annoying.. An example outside of games being that you might have all the analytical skill to score very well in a highschool (or 4-year degree) course but just don't have the requisite knowledge. Skill is interesting (to acquire more of), knowledge is not. Well, at least in a somewhat skill-based activity. 1 11 24 It took me over 6 hours to beat getting over it. I probably should have stopped trying to go for "clean" mechanics/jumps/whatever you want to call them because it kept making me fall in pretty easy places. You do improve by having to climb back up all the time but the skills demanded of the various places are kind of different so you're not any better at the part you fell at just because you had to climb up the previous bit again. I didn't really see any comments about it online but the control scheme really made me feel it in my shoulder. You need both small and very large movements with the mouse so I couldn't just up my sensitivity either. Fairly fun though minus the physical strain. I like things like that where you know you are the thing that's improving, even if it's in something quite unapplicable to anything else. Well, there is an argument to be made that some broader points on methodology carries through * Learning tft sort of. 1 7 24 The bar is so low it's underground. I can't resist unnecessary cartwheels, however. What's the point of life if not for amusing emebellishment? * "...as I was always ever more disposed to see the favorable than unfavorable side of things--a turn of mind which it is more happy to possess than to be born to an estate of ten thousand a year" - David Hume 1 4 24 The SAT is extremely straightforward. Outside of having learned english in the last 3 years, I really don't see how it's even possible to score badly (<1500). Well, one way is making careless mistakes but that's not really what I'm getting at - supposedly others' issues lie in the conceptual digestibility of the various things you have to know. Well for all the conceptual triviality of academics I manage to be extremely mediocre at competitive games. I think it's the situation of a frightening capacity for overcomplicating decisions but that's an ambiguous thing to definitively prove. Regardless, I would like to not suck at at least one game in my life. It's just a funny dichotomy - concepts are trivial, and it's not like that changes in competitive video games.. all I have to do is just not make things harder for myself. I perform better when I take a break from something and come back to the activity with a better contextualization for it... I definitely just get worse at league champions the more I play them because I get more and more tunnel-visioned on insignificant micro. This is just the same thing I talked about in the last post.. I swear my brain's getting unfucked though. Give me another 5 years.. And that's just the stuff you get for free biologically. One can grow in experience/insight indefinitely 12 29 23 Honestly it's kind of a miracle I got as far as I did in art given the absurdly overwrought approach I end up in whenever I try to do something 'seriously' My problems likely could (can) be summed up as missing the forest for the trees. Well I was heavily reliant on brute force with raw technical ability - making appeal shapes, handling edges and values, a sense of volume.. But for all the micro, I completely lacked the broader sight to use it. Revisiting painting now my brain is far from unfucked, but there's been progress that's clearly reflected in the results. A common habit was to leave areas unresolved for a long time because I didn't know what to do with it, then quickly at the end painting some random bs, or even forget to address it at all. I also tended to pull a million references because I wanted to assimilate them all into the painting somehow, but really more than one or two for a discrete element is too much. The emphasis should be on your own design sense anyhow - all the reference in the world can't come to a decision on its own. I think those were the two main problems.. Also not hesitating so much to do my own thing "off the beaten path". I suppose that's what coming to an individual style is supposed to be about, after all. I've more or less fully switched to painting with a mouse, and I think it only has positives really. 12 27 23 The self-proclaimed "perfectionist" presumes by implication they know what perfection is * Skill in specific domains has.. probably nothing to do with broader insight (philosophy). I think this might have been my largest misconception. I mean, I feel like it was reasonable to assume it would. (insert shrug emoticon) Talent's just talent, however. And talent for philosophy is just as discrete as a talent for math or painting, I suppose * You don't get extra points for doing something difficult (for its own sake) 12 23 23 Surely sight-reading facility in rhythm games is tied to actual reading ability 12 22 23 If not now then when? 12 21 23 explanation ruins a good joke so let's not be overly obtuse please * played a fair bit of slay the spire recently. I've never really invested the handful of hours to get a foothold in one of these strategy games until now. I sort of get it. Rng is necessary for obfuscation and to avoid 'solved' strategies.. It doesn't make sense to complain about rng in a specific encounter either; would you rather have won it just because you had good rng? I want to try tft sometime 12 20 23 Perhaps specifics of delivery aside, Rand's point in The Fountainhead is something I strongly agree with. How much harm has been done for the sake of social posturing... * Open-endedness does not exist? Is any concept or "creative" solution a couple steps removed from common sense and arrived at by the same faculty? 12 19 23 If I could rip out my philosophical organ I think it would be entirely for the better * finished the foutainhead. It's one of those books with flaws that can be overlooked as merely an entertaining read if it wasn't so long 12 16 23 I mean if someone's using an audiobook it's not like the sort of things they consume required much attention anyway 12 13 23 I think I have more or less answered all my questions about (visual) art. Some 6 years in the making. Given my track record it's very likely that this will not be how I feel in a matter of weeks or months from now but who knows. Maybe I did it this time. * Finished no longer human a few days ago. I thought it was decent but I would not really call it literature. I don't think there was enough of a 'creative/individual' voice to the work. It comes off as merely a relation of events, which I suppose is the fictional pretense given*a series of diaries left behind and given to someone else to publish*but regardless I believe this disqualifies it from being a particularly great work, especially given its semi-autobiographical nature. 12 12 23 12 11 23 have assumption about something works -> try it out -> it doesn't work well you learned something now didn't you. If you did something it means by premise you thought it was the best option available so be grateful the misunderstanding has been rectified! I will refrain from quoting that Thomas Edison saying * I have become unhardstuck in vsrg. Who knew the answer was to play more all along * watched blader runner 2049 again after 4 years. It's decentish I guess. I feel like villenueve makes everything turbo 'minimalist' between visuals, plot, dialogue, whatever without a real justification for it. Mr. Cotton was the only one that didn't at least halfway fall into that overly reticent mold. It's hard to be invested when everyone speaks so unrealistically. And if Jared Leto's character has to muse because 'bad guy' it would be nice to have a pretense at some broader philosophical theme. He was literally just saying his evil plan but really slowly.. The opening scene with Dave Bautista was cool though. Definitely my favorite part 12 9 23 Seriously, all that matters is that the reptile brain is kept happy. Rationale is merely justification on top of how we already feel. 'Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions' - David Hume 12 8 23 Maybe actual ability at something is made up of too many things to ever 'think' your way into being good at it. And conversely I suppose someone doesn't have to be extremely proficient at actually doing something in order to provide useful and interesting analysis. * I used to be more interested in the funny mix of artistic and engineering work Sebastian Lague does. What you end up with however is some in-between product less fun than a game and less interesting than a tech demo. In his case the actual product is the video documenting the process... It's better to specialize (have one discipline the focus and the other subordinate (if you want to (possibly))). * current reading: dazai, no longer human (keene tr.) schell, the art of game design 12 6 23 Been thinking about making a platformer game so I started Celeste in part to see how they handle movement mechanics and how it feels to play. Only about 1.5 chapters in so far but it seems a bit of an odd choice how they decided not to explicitly explain mechanics past the prologue. I'm not sure that I'm completely sold on the screen/'level' design either, maybe more of the hard filters idea possibly. I feel like I wasn't tested nearly as much as I could have been and was able to progress without being in that much control of my character. I don't know why but the default control scheme, mostly the mid-air dash on 'x', has been difficult for me to make unconscious. A pet peeve of mine is when a game doesn't make it explicit which paths lead towards the 'main' goal and which are optional areas. idk 12 5 23 Came across this random reddit post which made it occur to me if we interacted with an alien civilization we'd share so little of their values and sense of aesthetics it would expedite the whole venture of individualism quite a bit. Would be clear the entire foundation of values derives from evolutionary traits and past experience, and that only the individual's will itself would be left as any sort of basis for anything * If humans differ in value (across skills, moral laudability, insight, whatever) it is by a linear rather than exponential relationship. Perhaps there is an argument to be made for particularly affluent philanthropists or at least non-entirely financially motivated venture capitalists having an impact of magnitudinal proportion. Come to think of it, the same could be said for figures in pop culture (albeit somewhat less convincingly - they are more fungible perhaps by premise) with their platforms that reach millions. Anyhow, in either case their 'professional' achievements does not instill anything uncommonly valuable into them personally, which is more or less the point I want to make. We're all human, and differences in status are more often than not due to circumstance rather than a meritocratic gulf * current listening: satie, gymnopédie no.1 the opening motif has a poignant sense that resonates with my cold dead heart. I read music about as well as a dyslexic 3rd grader but maybe I will learn to plod it out on the piano 12 4 23 Tried out risk of rain returns. I don't really get the appeal so far. But I also don't really understand how the devs want me to play so I guess I will just have to give it more time. * hit 15msd (etterna) 12 3 23 refind self personality results: 1. researcher 2. runner (efficiency and goal-minded) 3. planner basically entirely unsurprising * decided I'm not allowed to write (as art) until at least 25. it's uniquely revealing of mental aptitude and further attempts atm would really just be unproductive. * farming maps has long term consequences kids dont do it 11 14 23 10 8 23 I need something to do that isn't spamming aram all day 3 7 23 hole i dug